


The More The Merrier

by Your_privileges



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: All of them are, Apathetic Harry Potter, Dark Harry, Evil Harry Potter, Gryffindor Harry Potter, Harry is a Little Shit, Hufflepuff Harry Potter, Humor, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Maybe - Freeform, Might add more tags later on, Other, Ravenclaw Harry Potter, Sarcastic Harry, Slytherin Harry Potter, sorta like a MPD fanfic, technically
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-07-10 14:41:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15951452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Your_privileges/pseuds/Your_privileges
Summary: Harry Potter was having a normal potions class. Brooding, thinking, dozing. All that jazz.Yet maybe he should have listened a bit more because now there are 5 other versions of him. Some brooding, some thinking, and some dozing. Yet, never all three. At least he can now push his worries on another Potter and go relax.Featuring a Slytherin, Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Evil, and Apathetic Harry.





	1. The accident

**Author's Note:**

> Right, so I have not decided on a ship, but if there is one that any of you want to see, then just comment below.

Harry has, to put it shortly, been feeling a bit sick of everyone's shit. After the whole ministry debacle, he has now apologized to left and right. Now, that normally wouldn’t be a problem! It would even be wonderful! But... it just so happens that this is exactly like the second year.

 

“You know Harry, I never believed one bit of The Prophet!”

“I always knew you were telling the truth!”

“Everyone was against you, but I never was. I always believed you!”

“The Prophet is such an awful newspaper, don’t you agree, Harry?”

 

Yeah… okay… sure. I may have tolerated this before, but I am not some impressionable kid with his only desire to be, well, desired. I am NOW an impressionable teenager! Okay all jokes aside, it has been pretty awful.

My mind is crowded with Si-Siri… With Sirius, the crucio, the ministry, The Prophet, the Dursleys, and Voldemort. The public and my friends are all the cherry on top of this Hagrid cake. Yah, my friends… They have been avoiding me. I don’t know why and every time I try and ask Ron, Hermione, Luna, literally ANYONE, all they do is make some excuse and run. So yeah, fuck them too.

So here I am, alone, yet crowded, praised, yet hated, popular, y-

“Mr. Potter!”

… Yet apparently daydreaming in potions. Screw Voldemort, he has nothing on the pure loathing Snape has for me.

“Yes, professor?”

“Good” 

Uh oh, I just agreed to my literal death. He probably asked me if I wanted to be dissected for a new potion ingredient. And the bastard is smirking at me! Obviously aware that I had no idea what just happened! I am So Fucked (with capitals!).

“Well then, get on with it you silly boy!”

He said while motioning to the vial of death on his desk. That is not an exaggeration. It literally looks black and has sludge oozing out! But yet again, isn’t that everything in potions?

So I walk to the damn thing, all the while hearing the Gryffindors whispering while casting sympathetic looks at me, the Slytherins snickering and looking like they have just won the house cup, and Snape smirking at me. So if that isn’t reassuring, I don’t know what is. At that moment, I wish I had written a will and completed my bucket list. 

I take the damn thing and chug it like it was Firewhiskey.

 

 

 

“-ter!”

“Potter!”

“POTTER!”

 

“Merlin fucking dammit! We can hear you!!”

I say. Wait… I hadn’t opened my mouth. But the voice sounded like me. And it answered when addressed as Potter? Whatever.

Turning my head I see an exact version of me. Same robes, same hair, same shoes, same everything.

“5 points from Gryffindor for the disrespect! Now class, as you can see, the potion did what it was supposed to do. Mr. Potter now has 6 different personified personalities. This potion lasts for 8 days including the day of the intake.

Great... meaning I can lob all my work and chores on another Potter and go on a vacation.

“Stand up Potter!”

“Which one?”   
“Which one!”  
“Which one.”  
“Um.. me or uhh?”

 

...This’ll be irritating.

“All of you!”

One of us looked like they’re ready to fight, but seeing as everyone else, excluding one, calmly stood up, he stopped.

“Now which one of you is the main one!” 

He could have just asked.

“Me.”

I stepped forward, some of them looked like they were ready to argue, but before they could I interrupted.

“All of you ended up in slightly different areas of the room, but for me, I am exactly where we all passed out.”

One still didn’t look convinced, but the rest looked like they accepted it.

“Good, find out what the other Potters personalities are.”

Ah yes, he will have to deal with more Potters now.  
Well, the task is easy. I will ask a question and see what each of our responses are. I might be able to group all of them into simple personalities, like Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, etcetera. 

“Everyone stand in line. I will ask you a question and you must answer.”

I turn to the first one.

“Which house is the best?”

 

“Ravenclaw.”

Next.

“Gryffindor!”

Next.

“Um, well… all of them are pretty good, but uh, Hufflepuff is nice. I’m- I’m not saying that any other house is not! Ju-

Next.

“Slytherin.”  
Next.

“None. They all are useless with useless people who are all one dimensional and are better off dead or tortured.”

 

Peachy. That’s all then. I changed the colour of my robe, and then came up to each one of them and changed theirs.

“Professor Snape.”

He was startled out of his daze. In fact, as was the rest of the class. All looked like they found out that Headmaster Dumbledore was Lord Voldemort. Maybe their brains imploded from the sight of The Golden Boy saying anything other than Gryffindor to that question.

“What!”

“The one in the blue robe will be known as Ravenclaw, in the red is Gryffindor, in the yellow is Hufflepuff, In the green is Slytherin, In the black is Marvolo, I am in the grey and will be known as Tom.

Ravenclaws, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Slytherins personalities are self-explanatory, Marvolo is evil and uncaring, and lastly, I’m apathetic.”

Coming back from his daze, Professor Snape seemed to catch up with the situation that he now has to handle.

“Right… Potter! To you’re seat!”

 

I stand back to watch the show as they all looked at each other in confusion.

 

“Didn’t Tom just say what to call us to avoid this type of confusion?”

“Maybe he’s slow…”

“Of course he is. He made us take this potion.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me everyone in Hogwarts is slow.”

“No one would.”

“I mean…. I like it- um Hogwarts. I like Ho-”

“Shut up Puff, I am this close to A.K.ing you.”

“You’re fingers are together!”

“E-fucking-xactly.”

“Now guys, you know what happens when we kill each other.”

“No.” 

“.....”

“I vote the Puff.”

“We need to make necessary sacrifices to understand.”

“Any killing is good in my book.”

“No! Killing is wrong!”

“Wait! You can’t ju-”

The most interesting part is the colour draining from all the student’s face. 

 

“ENOUGH! Tom. take your seat, the others, stand by the wall.”

 

Yes… This will be interesting.


	2. Not A Conspiracy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So turns out I did decide to make this a series. This chapter is pretty short and I promise to make the other ones longer.

“Ahem!” 

Was that really necessary to do?

“Yes Professor?”

“Do something with the others! And also speak to Dumbledore about your situation. I don’t want any Potter’s just wondering about the sch-”

“Fuck Slytherin!” Shouted… the Slytherin…

I dub the colour of Professor Snape’s face Vernon-2. Vernon-1 looks like someone choking to death, while Vernon-2 looks like a lobster on steroids. Vernon-3 is a much more refined colour, having a mix of pale, red, and blue, making it an interesting look. 

“20 points off of Gryffindor for blatant disrespect, language, and prejudice!” 

“Also fuck you and Malfoy!”

Snape seemed to realize what Slytherin was trying to do. He didn’t even try to hide the smirk that made it on his face, looking like a Gryffindor who just won the house cup. 

“50 points off of Gryffindor!” 

“Also f-”

I saw the Gryffindors and… Gryffindor catch up to what Slytherin was doing. All of them collectively turning red in unison. I swear, these things just have had to be planned.

 

“Slytherin I swear to Merlin if you finish that sentence I will rip your bal-”

Ah, Gryffindor, ever the brash and reckless idiot.

 

“-uck Lucious and all of the purebloods!”

Ah, Slytherin, ever the proud and ‘smart’ idiot.

 

“100 points off of Gryffindor for the disrespect, the language, and now the bullying! Gryffindor, see me after classes for detention!”

“But Professor! how come-”

Aaaaand I’m bored. Honestly, listening to Snape and someone argue is fun and all, but not if the insults stay the same. I looked around to see what everyone was doing. And by everyone I meant me. 

Ravenclaw is in the corner with Hufflepuff trying to get Hufflepuff to kill himself ‘for the sake of knowledge I swear! It wouldn’t even hurt because-’   
Slytherin is single-handedly winning the Slytherin house cup  
Gryffindor just joined the ‘argument’  
And Marvolo just convinced someone to leave with him. Interestingly enough, if you listen really closely, you can hear faint screaming. 

So everyone is acting normal. 

Deciding that it was best to just leave everyone alone and let them do their own thing, I wrote a note and explained to them that I was going to tell Dumbledore the situation and go on a vacation. I put the quill down and made my way to the headmaster's location. The rhyme was planned.

So standing in front of the gargoyle, I realized I was not feeling like naming sweets. So I did what any reasonable person would do. I blew up the floor under the gargoyle. Yet before I knocked on the door, I remember those cartoons that I saw Dudders watch and imitated the long drop and thud sound. The gargoyle matched perfectly with my sound effects.

 

That’s just how good I am. 

 

Finally, I knocked on the door. Or at least attempted to knock on the door. Before I could finish my knock, I heard a, “Come in!” ... Rude.

“What can I do you for Mr. Potter?”

“Professor Snape gave me a potion that split me into 6 overused stereotypes so I would like to borrow a teachers lounge for my companions and me. “

“Very well Mr. Potter. But can you please tell me the personalities of each of you? After all, you are now my students and now under my care!”

“Very well Headmaster Dumbledore, I will make sure to send someone over.”

I’m not sending anyone over. 

“Thank you my boy!”

Maybe I could ask Marvolo to scoop out Dumbledore’s eyes. That twinkling is not natural and I know that everyone keeps on saying that, but I swear to god, I’ve heard more conspiracies about Dumbledore’s twinkle than I heard about who really is running the ministry. My personal opinion is that those are not really his eyes, but an illusion created by him to distract us from his real eyes. The ones on his hat. Those aren’t stars and everyone knows that. It’s the only reasonable reason he has to wear those clothes. Maybe those aren’t really his clothes, but his exoskeleton, meaning that he’s naked all t-. Never mind.

Onto vacation planning. I hear that Germany has good alcohol and is very beautiful. But Canada has nature and maybe he could go get himself a quiet house to rent for a while there. But America has Hawaii and that has got to be a good vacation spot, after all, why else would anyone go there? But why not vis- 

You know what. 

He’ll figure it out.

…

How was he going to get out of Hogwarts again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't have a strict update schedule, but I definitely won't be taking long pauses between chapter. This is sort of a crackfic, but if any of you want to see a ship, be it anywhere from Harry/Tom to Ron/Hermione, just comment below and I'll think about it. Other than that, thank you for reading and enjoy your day.

**Author's Note:**

> This could be a one-shot or it could be a couple of chapters. I really don't know


End file.
